Datingpearl | Singles Online Dating

While personally speaking, one night stands have never appealed to me, I know of several men who would not mind indulging in a bit of casual sex without any hope or binding that it should culminate in a serious relationship. As a general rule, men do not have too many hang-ups about such indulgences.

There are a lot of women too, who are not keen on getting into any commitment and can agree to this kind of casual sex with their dating partners. There are very heavy chances though, that during your dating life, you will get into a situation, what I term as reverse-payback. This means that while you get mentally attached to a woman who you indulged with, for a quickie, but before you know it, she has left you.

If your sole aim is to have these one night stands, go ahead, indulge, but prepare yourself with a stronger head and a steadier mind. While there are enough women not too keen on commitments, but have casual sex as a mode of having fun, they are essentially however, looking for the same standards from men , as other women : dignity, trust and that magical spark called attraction, except, may be in different amounts.

If you are seriously contemplating to indulge only in these casual sex encounters, you have to hype up your seduction powers: abundance of humor, charm and the ability to tease your way through, so that your plan bears fruit faster.

From a public arena, move quickly to a more private, romantic and secluded place, where you can communicate with her one-to-one. While you move her away from the public glare, pump up your seducing prowess to the hilt. The two should be worked out simultaneously to make that magic happen.

In case you are in a quandary, as to which women to select for such a sexual escapade, the right target are those women who you have an instant chemistry with. Through the right communication, glances, touches, the instant chemistry “clicks” – and you have found the right person.

Please don’t judge these women as “easy” or “cheap” – it is simply that they are “readily available” at that moment. One can’t deny that ever so often we meet such women, with whom just the eye contact, spells instant attraction and we have that butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling from that moment. But beware, such women fall in to the far side of the range – from “super-easy” to super-rigid” – and all along you must have to practice the basic principles of self-discipline and controlled behavior.

How you manage a one night stand depends primarily on your personality and your requirements. There are many instances where a one night stand has culminated in a brief romantic interlude.

Please note that it is indeed hard to graduate from a one night quickie and glide into a steady, trusted and stable relationship. The basis of almost all short to long term relationships is, a far more lengthier period of romancing rather than jumping into frenetic sex.

It is beneficial for you to remember one basic fact: honesty is the best policy, even in bed! While you are in the seduction process, be honest and truthful about your intentions, face up to whatever you are committing – do not glib talk your way through right into her bed or panties ! For the simple reason, lies ultimately don’t take you anywhere. Not only is deception dishonorable, you do get paid back in your own coin, sooner or later. I am not scaring you with concepts of bad “karma” but as an adult, you know that every action you take today, will pave the way for your tomorrow, and many tomorrows.

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Tags: dating tips, dating women, internet dating

Let us view the other side of the coin. What is it that a “Jerk” has, that makes women respond to him better? Even if they are voicing their dissent – nobody treats me nicely! The answer to this dilemma is simple: Jerks exude self-confidence, without even knowing it!

Consider how “Jerks” carry themselves:

1. When he is livid, he makes no bones about it, its all over his face and actions.

2. He hardly cares for the opinion of others. His ego state is at an all time high: I’m OK; rest of the world is NOT OK. Most importantly he does not idolize women.

3. He positions himself and his needs much before anything else. His sole priority is “me”. And talk about rejecting women? They do it faster than a wink!

4. He does not allow people to act rude or cheeky with him.

5. He doesn’t care if actions hurt or insult a woman.

Though it may sound irrational, but it is these qualities of a “Jerk” that a woman sucks up to! It is no wonder then that a “jerk” gets his way around. But a “jerk’s” problem starts right here. He goes to the extremes, thereby appearing to be a selfish, egoistical, coarse individual. There is of course a middle path, but it is essential for you to realize and appreciate why these people emerge triumphant. It is not rare that we hear women refer to such guys as “jerks”, as if they were talking in very derogatory terms about them, and all you Nice Guys go home believing that it is the opposite behavior that women are looking for.

The truth of the matter, when you hear such whining, lies in an amalgamation of two factors:

1. Women voicing their protest, because they can no longer be in the driver’s seat, so as to exercise “control” over the man’s behavior, which they are so used to, and,

2. The guy’s unpardonable “jerkish” qualities

Come to think of it, if it was really true that this alleged “jerk” was so abominable that no woman would touch him with a bargepole, they would not associate with him in the first place. Of course, his aggressive nature is attractive, his selfishness is very macho, and his unrefined, coarse ways are “cute” to women, hence the attraction.

Incidentally, guys who have been dumped by women after being identified as “jerks” are out of my consideration set, because here the woman has validated her opinion by dumping him. I am essentially discussing about men, who women love to date, be friends with, and simultaneously crib about.

An admirable man is a true and honest gentleman, whose manners and deportment are impeccable. So, what are the qualities of a “Jerk” you must learn to avoid being that “admirable” man:

1. Unreasonable and unjustified throwing of tantrums (teach yourself some self-discipline and self-control)

2. Physical or mental abuse

3. Impolite and discourteous manners.

4. Purposefully bringing mental agony and trauma to the woman.

5. Haughty, self-centered and impolite attitude

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Tags: dating tips, dating women

I have decided to bring upfront this important aspect of the dating scenario – multiple choices of women that lie ahead of all of us. This should be one of your primary priority area of consideration – because it is under your control if you so decide.

There happens to be existing a bit of dichotomy in this dating game – mostly created by women themselves. For your understanding, I want to break the existing myth – women do not like men dating more than one man. Did I hear someone say - Monogamous?

So many times I have heard some one say something on similar lines:

- This one’s made just for me.

- I knew she should be just right for me

- I know my soul mate, when I see one

- God, help me, I don’t want to lose her

The lists of such exclamations are endless. A man meets a woman, finds her extremely beautiful and desirable, and then goes and spoils it all by idolizing her. He instantly puts her on a pedestal and from then on his entire world revolves around her.

What a waste, what a mistake!

This kind of infatuation and fixation is a sure no-no for women. It kills any sense of excitement and thrill expected to exist in a budding relationship. Let me take you through a discussion, where I analyze WHY you should keep on seeing other women, even if you have your eyes fixed on one.

1. Attitude and confidence – Open other windows

When you are “fixed” or “stuck” with only one woman, you immediately shut out any buffer zone – or the comfort zone, which all of us need, in case something goes seriously wrong. In case she gets you out of her life – you spend the next few miserable months, or even years, thinking what is it that you said wrong, did wrong or hurt her unintentionally. Remember that song of the Beatles – Yesterday? You keep on longing for that single Yesterday.

Since you have pinned all your hopes, aspirations and dreams on one solitary woman, you have lost all your sense of balance and proportion. Our inherent “fear of loss” arises out of the belief that there are “no options” anymore. This is it. The moment you realize – O my God, so many women, so little time, your spirit automatically lifts up sky high. As a natural consequence, you will relax, learn to be calm and collected in your deportment. You no longer fear any one, now, isn’t that a wonderful feeling?

2. Perspective and comparison – Compare, Contrast, Consider

If you start believing that the single woman who you have selected is the end all and be all of life, how are you going to assess her unless you know some other women too? You need to draw some kind of standard parameter guidelines, by which you can weigh the attraction level and find rationality for your feelings. If you have nothing else to compare her with, how will you ever know the millions of alternative behavioral norms that even exist?

3. Perceived value – Women envy, Owners’ pride!

Women go for the Jones’s. Whatever the neighbor (in this case read it as other women) has, I must have it too. Right from jewellery, clothes, perfume to men! A man who is popular, talked about, seen everywhere and goes around with another woman, well, what is he like, is there any chance for me? Make a beeline for him! Join the race. A man who is WANTED. Who you see at the pub is ordinary, within reach. The “unconquered” triggers the killer instinct.

4. The Obsessive Self-destruct – Killing You Softly

Any sort of compulsion results in hasty, unrealistic and destructive decisions. The moment the world of choices open up, you automatically cease to show any compulsive behavior. The essence of this message is that you see and date as many women as there are available, till you meet the most promising one and it should be YOU who take the final call and NOT the woman!

5. Don’t let her feel “tied” down too early

Women hate to be treated exclusively right from the word go. Even if your intention is a temporary liaison, she gets a wrong signal. She immediately concludes that you are intent on a serious monogamous relationship. Now her pace and sense of rhythm does not allow this. The whole episode then becomes full of disharmony.

So the take home is message is this: Keep your options open. Keep all windows open. Date as many women as you like, more so, if you have located the woman of your dreams. Do not over-indulge or spoil everything by idolizing her. To keep her interests alive, see other women. It pays, both in the short and long run.

Tired of being taken for granted? Sick of being taken for a ride? Well, the fault could begin in the way you interact with people. It could well be possible that you start any interaction appearing to be meek, over-polite and faint-hearted; giving the impression to others that this guy can easily be trod upon.

Its time you learn how, where and when to draw the line. It’s always good to appear tough on the outside with a soft core, rather than the opposite. Start firm; loosen later, so that people are abundantly clear that you are truly a no-nonsense person.

Set your own standards of expectations from people. How much of what do you exactly want from people?  One of man’s biggest fears in interacting with others is the “fear of rejection”. But once you make it clear about what values you stand for and what you expect, people start taking you seriously.

They stop messing around with you, your privacy and you life in general. For instance, when a woman hurts your sentiments, say firmly or let her know in as many words that you are ready for such nonsense. Either she amends her ways or let’s call it quits. Even if she quits, she will regard you and leave in grace.

Next important thing in life is to have a mission. An objective, an aim, that you live for, you work towards. This focus in life really sets the balance and does not let even a moment of your life go waste. Imagine the lives of some great men who walked this planet.

How is it that they did not have problems with women? Simply because they were adding value to their own lives and to the world at large, everyday of their lives, through their sole mission. And this focus and aim, truly attract worthy women.

Take some time off for yourself and do a recap of the past, your present and where you want to go. What this life means to you. What are you going to leave behind, when you are no longer there? It’s not difficult to imagine.

You need not climb the Mount Everest, or take a solo engine flight across Atlantic, or for that matter be a great philanthropic soul – create hundreds of hospitals for the poor; its far more simpler than that – like creating a stable and loving family, or taking a step towards eradication of social abuse in your own neighborhood! Believe me; these attributes in a man are simply irresistible to women.

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Tags: dating online tips, dating tips, dating women

A man is known not only by his character, but the strength of his character; because looks and outer appearance may wither with age – not his core self. And when it comes to dating – it is this integrity that acts as a guide and helps you segregate the right from the wrong.

The strength of your bearing, your values and beliefs will even help you glide over difficult periods of your life. During any emotional upheaval, can you stand up to your virtues and hold your head high? Or will you break down, and become an emotional wreck or a psychic recluse? As they say, it takes nothing to dream but courage to make that dream come true!

Before you even venture out, looking for a dating partner or a soul mate – remember, life is all about marketing the right product to the right market at the right time! Before you market a product, you must look at the product’s positive and negative features and benefits; and its position vis-à-vis competition.

Likewise, imagine you are the product targeting yourself to the market, who are women. Before starting to do that, assess your own plus and minus points carefully. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

What are other competitors (men) doing? What extra should you do to score over competition? Because the market (the women) consists of discerning choosers – who will choose very carefully.

Here is a list of character traits that I admire and I have made for myself. I carry it with me all the time to check and review. It reminds me that the option to stay or go is entirely mine and if I ever meet a woman who can not realize or appreciate these, is the true LOSER and I have not lost anything, by not being with her. Go through the list yourself and put them in your own perspective, if you wish to emerge a WINNER in any relationship:

• Refined, polished, superior taste

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Tags: dating advice, dating partner, dating tips, dating women

Why do we shy away from facing reality? Why do we mask the truth with a lie? Come to think of it, all of us as humans love to live in our own comfort zones.

It is an in-born desire. Life, in its basic form hardly offers much comfort, both physical as well as mental. We are compelled to identify it ourselves and if we are unable to do that, we create them. After all, there is no better alternative in life than to “feel good”.

So what is it that the first few weeks or months in a dating scenario that makes it so rollicking and tempestuous? Mull over this: firstly you find someone, find whether the chemistry is right, and if it is so, pursue it with positive energy.

Now there is a lot of art, but hardly any science in pursuing, as even Shakespeare commented: the “love of pursuit”. This involves interplay of a few of the most basic human emotions and mental processes. This is an area, where Dating Gurus would like to believe that they know what’s happening.

But if you are on the look out for a “How-To” book in the market, there are hardly any, which talks about or addresses the issue of actually finding a date. Most dwell on the management of a relationship, much after the couple has crossed the initial stages of difficult and uncomfortable wooing. Memories of the struggle which both had gone through in the initial stages, make most couples stick together even in later months.

One of the most important factors in the early days of romancing (consider the first 60 days) that carry the couple through is, what I call, the “Novelty Syndrome”. Much like when we got a new toy in our childhood.

The sheer excitement of getting to know someone, open up fresh vistas in your mind and makes you go blind and start believing in a few white lies. You are hardly in a mood to confront the warning signals as they gradually appear, but if you do, you can avoid the numerous pitfalls which may lie ahead.

It is important to remember one important thing about human nature. Nothing “new” holds its “newness” after a while. A new car, a new house, a new bike eventually lose out on its “new” appeal. Even in a relationship, why does it have to wither out? What happened to that spark?

It happens mainly, because you “knew” her almost fully and started to take her for granted. The secret behind any successful relationship that lasts, has a lot to do with investment and re-investment of time, love, care and trust.  The saying, you reap what you sow, holds very true in a human relationship.

You will agree with me that the first ten dates, are perhaps the trickiest, despite the initial euphoria of knowing someone new. This section can, to my mind, be analyzed using science, rather than art. If you care to break this period step by step and focus on each step, you are less likely to fall into the “better than nothing” trap.

Obviously you will learn through your numerous mistakes, but I am going to take you through a logical, scientific process, which aims to make you learn faster so that you emerge with your sanity and prestige intact.

If you have seen “Sex and the City”, has it ever occurred to you, what makes it so successful? Undoubtedly, it is entertaining and perceptive, but the truth of the matter is that it is so REAL.

It emphasizes, more than anything else, how unstable and shaky the entire contemporary dating scene is! And, to top it, hardly understood! Thus, it is time to remove all that shining veneer and bring you face to face with REALITY.

Are you ready to have fun, make friends and find the love  of your life today! Click here to join the largest singles network on earth…

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If you think being steady and uniform in your behavior, will keep your woman happy, think again. By being unvarying and regular, you are merely telling her how good a husband and a father you might be!

Now that is definitely a premature signal, during your dating days, because you are truly giving the wrong signal at the wrong time.  To invoke intensity and fervor in your relationship, secret lies in being unpredictable. Never let the cat out of the bag, as to your true intentions. Because normal is boring, in dating terms.

Here are some purposeful confusing signals:

• Be a wizard with numbers – narrate her cell number beginning backwards! Ensure she knows your numbers too. But surprise surprise! Pretend to have forgotten her contact details, ask for it again.

•    Act distant and unapproachable on a date. Look through her at times, without being rude or impolite. Pretend your mind is somewhere else.

•    Women love to be surprised! Appear suddenly at places and times, when she least expects you. Give a bear hug,  kiss her, when she is least prepared, and then move on to do something else completely different.

•    Compliment her on her dress that day, only to change your opinion later. Basic idea is to appear inconsistent.

•    Sometimes do things which she least expects you to do. Like going for a kid film together or dining at a restaurant, which she did not even know existed. Outbid her assumptions at every step.

Such conflicting and inconsistent behavioral traits stimulate a woman, and display your erratic and mercurial temperament. But let’s not do this too frequently, or she might get the impression that you are some sort of loony that she has landed up with. Act a little mad, but not totally mad. So that you emerge as an otherwise dependable and trustworthy companion.

The secret behind creating magic in any dating relationship is generating a healthy blend of contradictions. Acting close as well as distant, being decisive as well as vacillating,  getting romantic and suddenly playing aloof, all goes to create those magical moments, we all yearn for.

Playing hide and seek so to speak, will help you not only attract women but keep them consistently attracted. The best example that comes to my mind is a tight-rope walker in a circus arena.

He is extremely careful on that rope while walking, neither too fast nor too slow, because either way he falls down. If you watch closely he appears inconsistent while walking, but look closer, there is a method in his madness.

Similarly, if you have tried to walk with a cup of hot coffee brimming up to the edges, you try and adjust your pace, to prevent it from splashing over your arm. You do not walk at a uniform pace; you keep adjusting it all the way till you reach your destination.

Your inconsistency in the dating game, acts very much the same way, keeping the cup of passion full, without any spillage, till you reach your determined goal.

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Tags: attraction, dating singles, matchmaking, online singles, relationship, women signals

You must realize at the very outset that there are some actions which irritate and put off a woman. As we proceed further on, we will give you many options to choose from, with regard to such aspects of men’s behavior which turn off women and ways to avoid display of such manners.

1. Clingy/Needy Behavior

When you display a clinging, “I –need-you-all-the-time” attitude. These arise mainly out of a constant fear of loss or a feeling of insecurity in men. If you give out a feeling to the woman that without her you will perish, since you feel so very insecure, it is surely going to put her off.

Like calling her a million times, feeling envious of her friends, resenting all or anything that she does with anyone else other than you, are activities which completely thwart a woman’s sense of freedom and she will vanish at the first available opportunity.

2. Pushy

When you display over-aggressive or bullish behavior.  Especially when it comes to a sexual relationship, some men bulldoze their way  and force women to indulge in such an act. And of course, later wonder why they never derived any enjoyment out of it.

3. Bragging/Boasting

Women truly hate this. She might be temporarily impressed with your bravado, but with your continuous narration of “I” stories – she will surely get bored. And most of all, don’t you think you should hold her interest by giving out details part by part and not the whole thing in one go.

4. Angry or Violent Temper

Train your mind to learn to control your moods and temper adequately. A controlled behavior is the sign or a refined person. And a woman can not have faith in someone who loses his shirt or blows up frequently. She will be in awe of you but you can not win her confidence.

5. Insensitivity

This does not mean saying rude words to her; it means not being able to express to her that you are being light-hearted and in a fun-loving mood.

6. Boring

Men appear boring mainly if he is bashful or diffident and he is incapable of displaying his true character, his persona.

7. Passive and Indecisive

Women feel very secure when her man is able to take prompt decisions, stick to his decisions and displays other leadership qualities. You then give out the signal of being in control of situations, being able to provide for her.

8. Be a Good Listener

Stop looking at her mammary glands for a change and listen. You then make her feel important.

9. Stop being Stingy and Mean

This does not mean that you flood her with expensive gifts all the time, but if on a date and in a café…be prepared to foot the bill. Chivalry still pays.

10. Don’t be Boorish

Some men think if they act rough and bristly with women, they will give some sort of a macho image, or gather a kind of sympathy, so that the next step she will take is restore him mentally and co-operate with his attitude. Think again.

11. When you Try Too Hard

When you pose to be the eager-beaver. Desperate to please. She starts to get wary and skeptical.

12. Sex on Top of Mind

It is perfectly alright to have sex in your mind. It is natural and women have that thought too. But if you approach her with this as the sole agenda of meeting her, she will run for life, and you will not even get a second chance.

13. Learn to Relax

Women find it a pleasure to be with a relaxed, calm and behaviorally controlled man. Practice the art of self-discipline

14. Stop Acting Defensive

If for some reason, you find the woman in a foul mood, stop acting defensive and giving her your story. Be sympathetic and understanding. Master your own mind to keep emotions from flying off.

15. Develop a Positive Frame of Mind

Negative attitudes are a real no-no for most women.

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Tags: dating singles, dating women, matchmaking, online dating, personals, singles dating, singles online dating

One of the most recurring mental blocks men face before they date is their eagerness to plunge into a deep, stable and unbreakable relationship. We must realize that men and women think, act and decide differently.

Women thoroughly relish the long swelling waves of romancing that go up and down in their minds. They feel completely absorbed, engulfed and rejuvenated while going through the rigmarole of emotional upheavals. On the contrary, men like less drama, less of emotional splurge and more of stability, sailing in tranquility of a rock-steady relationship.

What is the result of this mismatch of perspectives? You rush in and latch on to the woman of your life – as if there is no tomorrow – and the woman is viewing it totally differently. She visualizes pain before pleasure.

Spends time thinking of what holds in  future, thereby neglecting how she can hold on to the present. Exclusivity, monogamy – women yearn for that – but all at the pace which she sets. The course and speed of the game is decided by her.

It is therefore important to appreciate that both men and women respond to different emotional clocks when it comes to developing a relationship; the sense of timing is mutually exclusive. The Big Trap is just this. You are in a hurry to grab, and eventually fall out of the race – for no fault of yours.

Happening mostly to men who are a “One Woman Man” and who date infrequently, women also are frequent victims of the Big Trap, for they also wish to become a “One Man Woman” and are monogamous by nature. Yet men who are cool about meeting and dating many women – which I sincerely plead you to follow – hardly fall into the Big Trap.

Your earnest desire is to bring an end to this tempestuous “affair” associated with dating and stabilize the relationship – none of the wildness of dating makes you happy – you want to go steady with a single woman.

Reasons are aplenty for such behavior from men – seeking immediate but temporary monogamy. Definitely, a faulty understanding of women and wrong assumptions of their minds and beliefs is surely one of the main ones.

One more reason why men want to move fast is their restlessness to delve into the “unknown”. They hate to be kept in the dark for too long. The eternal question: will she agree to sex, won’t she agree to sex, bores and irritates the man. And with every passing day, the curiosity increases.

If only such men knew the pleasures of a single man, without any holdings, free of emotional baggage – they would never get so stagnated and close all doors to glorious opportunities, that lie hidden.

So what happens when you are a victim of The Big Trap? You need to have a steady and stable relationship, as discussed above. As you carry on meeting women, your adrenalin rises to a peak, you get emotionally charged, yet with the lack of proper knowledge or understanding of the woman’s nature and expectations, you fall flat.

You gradually start to lose ground. That affects your own sense of pride, self esteem. You start thinking romancing is a self-defeating exercise.

This is where a vicious cycle sets in. The more you lose out on women, the more you start hating not only yourself, but women too. The Loser Boy visits you often in your thoughts and dreams. It becomes impossible for you to improve upon your attitudes and behavior because remember: failure breeds failure, exactly the way success does. The miserable feeling amongst single men, is inevitable.

Or, perhaps you might date for a little while, find someone who doesn’t quite enthrall you, but you settle for the “second best” so to speak. Over a period of time, you start to realize, much to your disappointment, that you have settled for mediocrity – neither did you want this kind of woman, nor did you deserve her type.

She, in turn gets more and more possessive – because she is also perhaps going through the same emotional drill as you are – settling for the “second best”. Physically may be together, but mentally, you are far, far apart.

This kind of negativity overwhelms you and since the very nature of such emotional upheavals is cyclical, it gets repeated over and over again. By now you would have already developed a fixed mindset: “Want to Get out of this soonest” – this very attitude destroys you further.

The more you hate the concept of dating and meeting women, you are trying to evade the very process designed to improve your expertise in the area and bring about mental stability. It is time you thought like: “So many women, so little time”, as the wider and broader you make your choices, the more your chances of meeting many, many women.

Unless you broaden your horizon about women and dating, falling into the Big Trap will remain inevitable. Make women an “add on” to your otherwise glorious life, rather than the “end all and be all” of it. Don’t make her the reason for your existence – rather a small part of your existence.

To ingratiate yourself with this kind of mental outlook is first, gather information (get empowered with knowledge), second, take the right decisions (act on the knowledge) and third, bask in the glory of your well-deserved success. Change the way you thought and acted till now, and be the man of your dreams, the man you always wanted to be.

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